Days 11-14 – Koh Samui

Having seemingly fought off most of the diarrhoea from my time at Koh Tao, me and Patrick organised our ‘short’ ferry trip to Koh Samui via the hostel we were staying at.

As always, the ‘taxi’ (yes..pickup truck) crammed 10 of us in the back and before we knew it we were getting very accustomed to the blonde German girls that were squeezed in by our sides. Our bags of course were loosely placed on the roof with nothing to secure them and the driver drove like a maniac.

The ferry was meant to leave at 9:30 but being Thailand the disorganised chaos meant that it was over an hour late in departing. The queue was massive, the heat sweltering and Patrick refused to join the queue in the belief the queue would come to us. Still, at least he bought himself an ice cold fruit shake whilst I was too scared to drink anything in case I uncontrollably shit it all out.

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As we were nearly the last people to board the ferry we ended up on the top deck with the heat beaming down on us instead of in the nice air conditioned seats 2 decks down. I stupidly refused to put any sun cream on and paid a heavy price when it started to show later. I can only describe my face as tomato like for the next 2 days.

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After disembarking the ferry we had the joy of navigating the taxi mafia that awaited us. We had a choice of an ‘express-bus’ got 150thb each or a taxi for 300thb each. We chose the taxi after a fruitless haggling attempt by Patrick to knock 100thb off meant the driver just walked away. All the taxi drivers had the same price list so we just accepted it.

We’d organised to stay at a place called Nid’s Bungalows near Chaweng beach which was probably the best decision Patrick made the whole trip. I loved this place and it became a mini do-nothing holiday for me even after Patrick left.

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So why did I like this place? The first thing the friendly owner said to us upon check-in was that taxi drivers are cunts, which you can’t disagree with in Thailand.

It was nicely family run and everyone there was lovely to deal with. They had so many animals, dogs big and small, cats, birds, roosters and fish and they were all so friendly. I still think it’s a miracle that none of the cats tried to kill the caged birds but still…

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Everyone stayed in little unique huts or lodges and if it wasn’t for Papa Patrick it might have even seemed romantic. It was definitely different to the places we’d stayed thus far.

It had a pool! This was a major plus, and it was a decent pool too with balls to play with (har har) and a deep end you could actually swim in along with nice seating around the pool to relax.

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And above all of that was that it was the cheapest place we had stayed and even extras like breakfast were incredibly good value, so all in all I was very impressed and extended by stay by 2 nights when Patrick left.

The nights here seem to blur into one as it was such a lazy trip. So here are some of the highlights I recall.

The beach was quite nice and pretty and had the biggest waves so far. It was a surprise there weren’t really any surfers because the water was as deep as your knees but the waves would crash down over your head.

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I spent soooo much time either by the pool or in the pool, or beating Patrick at pool on the pool table 🙂 .

I was chatting to one of the other guests in the pool who was unashamedly a sex tourist that was telling me (or should I say disgusting me) with how he’d had his wicked ways with a classy girl called Pepsi. It turns out that within walking distance of the place there was a red light street full of bars with suggestive names like ’69 bar’ so of course me and Patrick walked along it to continue our spot the sex tourist game we’d been playing thus far.

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We were thoroughly disappointed to find that the alley was completely deserted of sex tourists. There were many bars with ‘women’ trying to entice us in, one such person grabbing Patrick to which he loudly shouted ‘no way!!’. It seemed that if you were a man into that kind of thing you’d have about 200 of these girls to yourself and I joked to Patrick that you could start a reverse auction and see how low you could haggle them for their services.

Having got to the end of the strip we noticed that most of the bars had for sale signs on them which was no surprise with the zero customers they had. If any of you fancy buying one of these dodgy bars it seems you can do so for about £4,000, workers included.

At the end of the strip, there were two other attractions. One was a bungy jump off a crane in the middle of nowhere which we both decided seemed pointless. The other was a go kart track which looked loads of fun but they wanted £24 each for 8 minutes which was basically my entire budget for the day. Needless to say we didn’t do it.

In the evening I continued my policy of only having Thai food as a proper traveller… I did so by having Thai pasta, Thai lasagne and more Thai pasta in restaurants with true Thai names like Alberto’s and Mario’s.

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One thing we noticed was a very subtle advertising technique that the Thai’s were using. Whilst we sat and ate meals, cars would slowly drive around in circles with massive subwoofers advertising the most dubious of businesses. These included a ‘REAL GUN REAL BULLET’ firing range, ‘Japanese Nuru massage’ ‘Koh Samui Ice Bar’ and maybe the best one was whenever we started hearing eye of the tiger blaring out down the street we knew the Thai stadium boxing was being advertised.

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Anyway, the time came for Papa Patrick to say an emotional goodbye and me to continue the adventure alone. The owner of our accommodation drove him the short distance to the airport (offering me the chance to wave him off which I declined) and then I spent the next 2 days wondering where I should go to.

Part of me had the full moon party in Koh Phangnan in mind that was on the 22nd March, but that was still over a week away and I wanted to see some other parts of Thailand rather than just the islands. I also don’t know if I’d survive such a crazy party on my own, especially if they started playing Timber by Pitbull, that would have pushed me over the edge.

Eventually I decided that my best tactic would be to head back the gruelling 15 hour journey to Bangkok and decide what to see from there as everywhere was accessible from Bangkok so I booked the ticket on day 14 ready to get up bright and early for another road trip the next day.

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